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10 Biggest Mistakes I See in Early Drafts
From the hundreds of screenplays I have read, these are mistakes I see again and again from novice screenwriters. Luckily, we can all learn from our mistakes.
1) THE SCRIPT ISN'T FUNI
If we’re going to read a script from beginning to end, it should be a fun read. If it’s a horror, make us scared. If it’s a comedy, make us laugh. We go to the movies because it's fun, so make sure your script is fun.
2) TOO MUCH ACTION DESCRIPTION
Amateur writers often use way too much action description. It slows the pace of the script, and so often, a lot of that action description isn't needed.
3) ON-THE-NOSE DIALOGUE
We can forgive a little on-the-nose dialogue, but if a script is full of it, then it shows a lack of creativity from the writer.
4) BAD HANDLING OF EXPOSITION
If characters are talking in paragraphs about their backstory, and it’s clear exposition just to get the exposition out, then it’s not fun. Make sure the exposition is handled through moments where we don’t realize this is exposition.
5) SHOW, DON'T TELL
Why have your protagonist tell us about a moment when we can see it? If something life-changing happened to your protagonist, then show it to us! Don’t just talk about it. We might not remember every piece of dialogue, but we’ll remember a scene that changed the protagonist.
6) NOT KNOWING WHEN TO FADE IN AND WHEN TO FADE OUT
There should only be one FADE IN at the top of the script and one FADE OUT at the very bottom of the film. Amateur writers put more of these in the middle of their scripts.
7) KEEP IT LESS THAN 110 PAGES (ESPECIALLY IN COMEDY)
Sure, there’s an exception to this, but your story better be incredible. A script from a first-time writer that’s 124 pages is just a headache to a reader. For the most part, people don’t want to read scripts over 100 pages. If a reader has the choice to choose a screenplay that’s 94 pages and a screenplay that's 115 pages, they’re much more likely to choose the 94-page script.
8) COMEDIES NEED TO BE FUNNY
Comedies need to be a mix of great stories and great laughs. If you’re gonna submit a comedy, make sure we laugh. Pump up the jokes in scenes that need more jokes before submitting.
9) CHARACTERS HAVE SIMILAR NAMES
Don't have a Josh, Jake, John, and Jeff! Make sure every character has a different name than your other characters. It gets confusing when you keep reading names that start with the same initial.
10) THE FIRST 10 PAGES ARE BORING
The first 10 pages of a screenplay are the most important. They have to hook the reader to want to read the rest of the screenplay. Once we are hooked, it's easier to forgive other parts of the screenplay, but if we're not hooked, then we'll pass on the screenplay.
From the hundreds of screenplays I have read, these are mistakes I see again and again from novice screenwriters. Luckily, we can all learn from our mistakes.
1) THE SCRIPT ISN'T FUNI
If we’re going to read a script from beginning to end, it should be a fun read. If it’s a horror, make us scared. If it’s a comedy, make us laugh. We go to the movies because it's fun, so make sure your script is fun.
2) TOO MUCH ACTION DESCRIPTION
Amateur writers often use way too much action description. It slows the pace of the script, and so often, a lot of that action description isn't needed.
3) ON-THE-NOSE DIALOGUE
We can forgive a little on-the-nose dialogue, but if a script is full of it, then it shows a lack of creativity from the writer.
4) BAD HANDLING OF EXPOSITION
If characters are talking in paragraphs about their backstory, and it’s clear exposition just to get the exposition out, then it’s not fun. Make sure the exposition is handled through moments where we don’t realize this is exposition.
5) SHOW, DON'T TELL
Why have your protagonist tell us about a moment when we can see it? If something life-changing happened to your protagonist, then show it to us! Don’t just talk about it. We might not remember every piece of dialogue, but we’ll remember a scene that changed the protagonist.
6) NOT KNOWING WHEN TO FADE IN AND WHEN TO FADE OUT
There should only be one FADE IN at the top of the script and one FADE OUT at the very bottom of the film. Amateur writers put more of these in the middle of their scripts.
7) KEEP IT LESS THAN 110 PAGES (ESPECIALLY IN COMEDY)
Sure, there’s an exception to this, but your story better be incredible. A script from a first-time writer that’s 124 pages is just a headache to a reader. For the most part, people don’t want to read scripts over 100 pages. If a reader has the choice to choose a screenplay that’s 94 pages and a screenplay that's 115 pages, they’re much more likely to choose the 94-page script.
8) COMEDIES NEED TO BE FUNNY
Comedies need to be a mix of great stories and great laughs. If you’re gonna submit a comedy, make sure we laugh. Pump up the jokes in scenes that need more jokes before submitting.
9) CHARACTERS HAVE SIMILAR NAMES
Don't have a Josh, Jake, John, and Jeff! Make sure every character has a different name than your other characters. It gets confusing when you keep reading names that start with the same initial.
10) THE FIRST 10 PAGES ARE BORING
The first 10 pages of a screenplay are the most important. They have to hook the reader to want to read the rest of the screenplay. Once we are hooked, it's easier to forgive other parts of the screenplay, but if we're not hooked, then we'll pass on the screenplay.
What Managers and Agents Look For in Scripts
Working for entertainment managers, I’ve written more script coverage than I ever want to. When you submit your script to a manager or agent, it’s highly doubtful they will actually read the script. They first give it to their intern or assistant. Usually, a college kid who’s earning a college credit doing free work or someone who’s recently graduated.
This intern/reader will PASS, CONSIDER, or RECOMMEND your screenplay. 95% of screenplays submitted are passed (meaning they will NEVER be looked at ever again by anyone) because these scripts are not worth investing money in. The other 5% have potential. A Consider is a Maybe, and a Recommend is a “Yes, let’s make this!”
These are the questions that readers answer when doing script coverage. If your script has any flaws (meaning they don’t answer these questions correctly), it will probably not be seen by the manager/agent. Before submitting a script to anyone important, I ensure my screenplay answers all these questions to get a RECOMMEND.
CHARACTER
Is it clear whom the story is about? Who are we rooting for?
Can you identify in some way with the main character? Are they likable?
Are the characters believable?
Is their behavior consistent with human nature?
Is character revealed through what people do visually rather than what they say? (Film is a visual medium)
Does the main character change, grow, or develop? (they should!)
Is the main character active or passive? (they should be active!)
Are the supporting characters good “foils” for the protagonist?
Are the hero and the antagonist evenly matched? (antagonist should be evenly matched or more powerful)
What’s at stake for the main character? What do they want?
Are major characters introduced too late?
STRUCTURE and STORY
Is the opening exciting?
Does the story “get rolling” quickly enough?
How is the exposition handled?
Is it a good story? Is it compelling?
Is the conflict and what the story is about clear in the first few pages?
Does it flow? Or are the scenes choppy or confusing?
Does the script have a strong narrative drive? Or does it ramble?
Does the story develop or unfold in an interesting way?
Are the scene transitions smooth or visually interesting?
Does the second act sustain your interest?
Does the climax pay off on the promise of the beginning?
Does the structure feel balanced, or is something out of place?
Is the ending satisfying? Or does it leave you with that “so what” feeling?
Does the antagonist get their comeuppance? Does the punishment fit the crime?
Does the writer “follow through” on all their storylines? Do minor characters work out their problems?
CONCEPT
Is there strong conflict? (from beginning to end)
Will the main idea of the film “grab” an audience? Is there a “hook”?
Are there elements on which to build an advertising campaign?
Is the concept unique?
Is it easily explained in a few words? Is it pitchable?
Is there a clear theme? What is this movie about?
Are there other films with similar themes that can be used for comparison?
DIALOGUE
Does it sound the way people really talk?
Is dialogue consistent? Do people stay “in character?”
Do all the characters sound the same? (They shouldn’t)
Is the dialogue appropriate to the period of the film?
If it’s a comedy, is it funny?
Does the dialogue “track well?”
Is the script too “stagey” or too “talky,” relying too much on dialogue and not enough on visuals?
Are the speeches relatively short and easy for an actor to memorize?
BUDGET
Would the production be expensive?
Are there any special sequences that would drive up the budget or that could be trimmed to save money?
Would “star” actors or other talent be requested to make the project work? (Would it work only in the hands of certain directors, for example?)
What other films does this reflect in terms of potential budget?
CASTING
Do casting suggestions come to mind?
Would casting present any special problems or challenges?
Are there too many characters for the size of the story?
THE BOTTOM LINE
If you ran the studio and could only make ten movies a year, would this be one of them?
Would you see this movie or recommend it to a friend?
Who is the intended audience for this film? Is that audience large enough to justify the cost of the picture? (A film must make three or four times its production cost to show a profit.)
Does the script work “on its own terms”? It may be an exploitive horror movie, but is it a GOOD exploitive horror movie? If it’s a comedy, is it funny?
Is the idea timely? Does it relate to something currently in the public awareness? Is the timing right for this movie? Or is it an evergreen film that can make money in every year. (Christmas movies for example, are evergreen films!)
Working for entertainment managers, I’ve written more script coverage than I ever want to. When you submit your script to a manager or agent, it’s highly doubtful they will actually read the script. They first give it to their intern or assistant. Usually, a college kid who’s earning a college credit doing free work or someone who’s recently graduated.
This intern/reader will PASS, CONSIDER, or RECOMMEND your screenplay. 95% of screenplays submitted are passed (meaning they will NEVER be looked at ever again by anyone) because these scripts are not worth investing money in. The other 5% have potential. A Consider is a Maybe, and a Recommend is a “Yes, let’s make this!”
These are the questions that readers answer when doing script coverage. If your script has any flaws (meaning they don’t answer these questions correctly), it will probably not be seen by the manager/agent. Before submitting a script to anyone important, I ensure my screenplay answers all these questions to get a RECOMMEND.
CHARACTER
Is it clear whom the story is about? Who are we rooting for?
Can you identify in some way with the main character? Are they likable?
Are the characters believable?
Is their behavior consistent with human nature?
Is character revealed through what people do visually rather than what they say? (Film is a visual medium)
Does the main character change, grow, or develop? (they should!)
Is the main character active or passive? (they should be active!)
Are the supporting characters good “foils” for the protagonist?
Are the hero and the antagonist evenly matched? (antagonist should be evenly matched or more powerful)
What’s at stake for the main character? What do they want?
Are major characters introduced too late?
STRUCTURE and STORY
Is the opening exciting?
Does the story “get rolling” quickly enough?
How is the exposition handled?
Is it a good story? Is it compelling?
Is the conflict and what the story is about clear in the first few pages?
Does it flow? Or are the scenes choppy or confusing?
Does the script have a strong narrative drive? Or does it ramble?
Does the story develop or unfold in an interesting way?
Are the scene transitions smooth or visually interesting?
Does the second act sustain your interest?
Does the climax pay off on the promise of the beginning?
Does the structure feel balanced, or is something out of place?
Is the ending satisfying? Or does it leave you with that “so what” feeling?
Does the antagonist get their comeuppance? Does the punishment fit the crime?
Does the writer “follow through” on all their storylines? Do minor characters work out their problems?
CONCEPT
Is there strong conflict? (from beginning to end)
Will the main idea of the film “grab” an audience? Is there a “hook”?
Are there elements on which to build an advertising campaign?
Is the concept unique?
Is it easily explained in a few words? Is it pitchable?
Is there a clear theme? What is this movie about?
Are there other films with similar themes that can be used for comparison?
DIALOGUE
Does it sound the way people really talk?
Is dialogue consistent? Do people stay “in character?”
Do all the characters sound the same? (They shouldn’t)
Is the dialogue appropriate to the period of the film?
If it’s a comedy, is it funny?
Does the dialogue “track well?”
Is the script too “stagey” or too “talky,” relying too much on dialogue and not enough on visuals?
Are the speeches relatively short and easy for an actor to memorize?
BUDGET
Would the production be expensive?
Are there any special sequences that would drive up the budget or that could be trimmed to save money?
Would “star” actors or other talent be requested to make the project work? (Would it work only in the hands of certain directors, for example?)
What other films does this reflect in terms of potential budget?
CASTING
Do casting suggestions come to mind?
Would casting present any special problems or challenges?
Are there too many characters for the size of the story?
THE BOTTOM LINE
If you ran the studio and could only make ten movies a year, would this be one of them?
Would you see this movie or recommend it to a friend?
Who is the intended audience for this film? Is that audience large enough to justify the cost of the picture? (A film must make three or four times its production cost to show a profit.)
Does the script work “on its own terms”? It may be an exploitive horror movie, but is it a GOOD exploitive horror movie? If it’s a comedy, is it funny?
Is the idea timely? Does it relate to something currently in the public awareness? Is the timing right for this movie? Or is it an evergreen film that can make money in every year. (Christmas movies for example, are evergreen films!)
My 5 Favorite Screenwriting Books
If you’re looking for wonderful knowledge about screenwriting, these are 5 Favorite Screenwriting Books.
#5 Save The Cat Strikes Back by Blake Snyder
All the stuff Blake Snyder thought of after his first book, he put in his second. The book was published 3 months after Blake's death at the early age of 52, but he left us with some amazing devices.
#4 The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Storytellers and Screenwriters by Christopher Volger
This book melds together mythology and storytellingl. The Writer's Journey is based on the writings of Joseph Campbell, but this is easier to absorb, and it's more relatable to most of us.
#3 The Story Solution: 23 Actions All Great Heroes Must Take by Eric Edson
Written by the Professor of Screenwriting and Director of the Graduate Program in Screenwriting at California State University, Northridge, this book explores a step-by-step blueprint for proper hero goal sequences.
#2 Save The Cat by Blake Snyder
Screenwriters Love this book or hate it, and I love it. Blake Snyder can correctly beat out 98% of blockbuster movies. His beats and study of film are remarkable. This book is perfect for first-time screenwriters because it’s a plethora of information, and it’s a really fun read. A book many of us refer to again and again.
#1 Writing Movies for Fun and Profit by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon
This book is so entertaining and will often make you burst out laughing. You won’t learn as much about how to write a screenplay as Save the Cat, but this book will inspire you to become successful in Hollywood. The authors have made more money and produced films than all the other authors on this list combined.
If you’re looking for wonderful knowledge about screenwriting, these are 5 Favorite Screenwriting Books.
#5 Save The Cat Strikes Back by Blake Snyder
All the stuff Blake Snyder thought of after his first book, he put in his second. The book was published 3 months after Blake's death at the early age of 52, but he left us with some amazing devices.
#4 The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Storytellers and Screenwriters by Christopher Volger
This book melds together mythology and storytellingl. The Writer's Journey is based on the writings of Joseph Campbell, but this is easier to absorb, and it's more relatable to most of us.
#3 The Story Solution: 23 Actions All Great Heroes Must Take by Eric Edson
Written by the Professor of Screenwriting and Director of the Graduate Program in Screenwriting at California State University, Northridge, this book explores a step-by-step blueprint for proper hero goal sequences.
#2 Save The Cat by Blake Snyder
Screenwriters Love this book or hate it, and I love it. Blake Snyder can correctly beat out 98% of blockbuster movies. His beats and study of film are remarkable. This book is perfect for first-time screenwriters because it’s a plethora of information, and it’s a really fun read. A book many of us refer to again and again.
#1 Writing Movies for Fun and Profit by Robert Ben Garant & Thomas Lennon
This book is so entertaining and will often make you burst out laughing. You won’t learn as much about how to write a screenplay as Save the Cat, but this book will inspire you to become successful in Hollywood. The authors have made more money and produced films than all the other authors on this list combined.
CHARACTER QUESTIONNAIRE
Copy and paste these questions into a Google doc or Word doc and answer each. Or write them in a dedicated notebook for your story to help develop your characters.
1. What is their full name?
2. How old are they?
3. What is their physical description?
4. What is their marital status?
5. What was their childhood like?
6. What is their Current Occupation and what were their past jobs?
7. What was their Education?
8. What are their hobbies? Do they play any Sports?
9. What is their Favorite Book?/Movie?/Album?
10. What is a typical Saturday night for the character?
11. What is their Biggest regret in life?
12. Who or what does the character love?
13. Who or what does the character hate?
14. Who or what does the character fear?
15. What is the character’s internal motivation? (what they need) and What is the character’s external motivation? (what they think they need):
16. What is the character’s fatal flaw?
17. What is the character’s secret?
18. How does the character speak?
19. What is the character’s goal in the story?
20. Is the character active in achieving their goal?
21. Who or what prevents the character from achieving their goal?
22. What happens if the character does not achieve their goal?
23. What is the transformation arc of the character?
24. Who or what helps the character change?
25. Who is the character’s mentor?
26. Does the character have any conflicting personality traits?
27. What is the character missing in their life?
28. What is the first image of the character? What does it tell us about them?
Copy and paste these questions into a Google doc or Word doc and answer each. Or write them in a dedicated notebook for your story to help develop your characters.
1. What is their full name?
2. How old are they?
3. What is their physical description?
4. What is their marital status?
5. What was their childhood like?
6. What is their Current Occupation and what were their past jobs?
7. What was their Education?
8. What are their hobbies? Do they play any Sports?
9. What is their Favorite Book?/Movie?/Album?
10. What is a typical Saturday night for the character?
11. What is their Biggest regret in life?
12. Who or what does the character love?
13. Who or what does the character hate?
14. Who or what does the character fear?
15. What is the character’s internal motivation? (what they need) and What is the character’s external motivation? (what they think they need):
16. What is the character’s fatal flaw?
17. What is the character’s secret?
18. How does the character speak?
19. What is the character’s goal in the story?
20. Is the character active in achieving their goal?
21. Who or what prevents the character from achieving their goal?
22. What happens if the character does not achieve their goal?
23. What is the transformation arc of the character?
24. Who or what helps the character change?
25. Who is the character’s mentor?
26. Does the character have any conflicting personality traits?
27. What is the character missing in their life?
28. What is the first image of the character? What does it tell us about them?