10 Biggest Mistakes I See in Early Drafts
10 Biggest Mistakes I See in Early Drafts
From the hundreds of screenplays I have read, these are mistakes I see again and again from novice screenwriters. Luckily, we can all learn from our mistakes.
1) THE SCRIPT ISN'T FUNI
If we’re going to read a script from beginning to end, it should be a fun read. If it’s a horror, make us scared. If it’s a comedy, make us laugh. We go to the movies because it's fun, so make sure your script is fun.
2) TOO MUCH ACTION DESCRIPTION
Amateur writers often use way too much action description. It slows the pace of the script, and so often, a lot of that action description isn't needed.
3) ON-THE-NOSE DIALOGUE
We can forgive a little on-the-nose dialogue, but if a script is full of it, then it shows a lack of creativity from the writer.
4) BAD HANDLING OF EXPOSITION
If characters are talking in paragraphs about their backstory, and it’s clear exposition just to get the exposition out, then it’s not fun. Make sure the exposition is handled through moments where we don’t realize this is exposition.
5) SHOW, DON'T TELL
Why have your protagonist tell us about a moment when we can see it? If something life-changing happened to your protagonist, then show it to us! Don’t just talk about it. We might not remember every piece of dialogue, but we’ll remember a scene that changed the protagonist.
6) NOT KNOWING WHEN TO FADE IN AND WHEN TO FADE OUT
There should only be one FADE IN at the top of the script and one FADE OUT at the very bottom of the film. Amateur writers put more of these in the middle of their scripts.
7) KEEP IT LESS THAN 110 PAGES (ESPECIALLY IN COMEDY)
Sure, there’s an exception to this, but your story better be incredible. A script from a first-time writer that’s 124 pages is just a headache to a reader. For the most part, people don’t want to read scripts over 100 pages. If a reader has the choice to choose a screenplay that’s 94 pages and a screenplay that's 115 pages, they’re much more likely to choose the 94-page script.
8) COMEDIES NEED TO BE FUNNY
Comedies need to be a mix of great stories and great laughs. If you’re gonna submit a comedy, make sure we laugh. Pump up the jokes in scenes that need more jokes before submitting.
9) CHARACTERS HAVE SIMILAR NAMES
Don't have a Josh, Jake, John, and Jeff! Make sure every character has a different name than your other characters. It gets confusing when you keep reading names that start with the same initial.
10) THE FIRST 10 PAGES ARE BORING
The first 10 pages of a screenplay are the most important. They have to hook the reader to want to read the rest of the screenplay. Once we are hooked, it's easier to forgive other parts of the screenplay, but if we're not hooked, then we'll pass on the screenplay.
From the hundreds of screenplays I have read, these are mistakes I see again and again from novice screenwriters. Luckily, we can all learn from our mistakes.
1) THE SCRIPT ISN'T FUNI
If we’re going to read a script from beginning to end, it should be a fun read. If it’s a horror, make us scared. If it’s a comedy, make us laugh. We go to the movies because it's fun, so make sure your script is fun.
2) TOO MUCH ACTION DESCRIPTION
Amateur writers often use way too much action description. It slows the pace of the script, and so often, a lot of that action description isn't needed.
3) ON-THE-NOSE DIALOGUE
We can forgive a little on-the-nose dialogue, but if a script is full of it, then it shows a lack of creativity from the writer.
4) BAD HANDLING OF EXPOSITION
If characters are talking in paragraphs about their backstory, and it’s clear exposition just to get the exposition out, then it’s not fun. Make sure the exposition is handled through moments where we don’t realize this is exposition.
5) SHOW, DON'T TELL
Why have your protagonist tell us about a moment when we can see it? If something life-changing happened to your protagonist, then show it to us! Don’t just talk about it. We might not remember every piece of dialogue, but we’ll remember a scene that changed the protagonist.
6) NOT KNOWING WHEN TO FADE IN AND WHEN TO FADE OUT
There should only be one FADE IN at the top of the script and one FADE OUT at the very bottom of the film. Amateur writers put more of these in the middle of their scripts.
7) KEEP IT LESS THAN 110 PAGES (ESPECIALLY IN COMEDY)
Sure, there’s an exception to this, but your story better be incredible. A script from a first-time writer that’s 124 pages is just a headache to a reader. For the most part, people don’t want to read scripts over 100 pages. If a reader has the choice to choose a screenplay that’s 94 pages and a screenplay that's 115 pages, they’re much more likely to choose the 94-page script.
8) COMEDIES NEED TO BE FUNNY
Comedies need to be a mix of great stories and great laughs. If you’re gonna submit a comedy, make sure we laugh. Pump up the jokes in scenes that need more jokes before submitting.
9) CHARACTERS HAVE SIMILAR NAMES
Don't have a Josh, Jake, John, and Jeff! Make sure every character has a different name than your other characters. It gets confusing when you keep reading names that start with the same initial.
10) THE FIRST 10 PAGES ARE BORING
The first 10 pages of a screenplay are the most important. They have to hook the reader to want to read the rest of the screenplay. Once we are hooked, it's easier to forgive other parts of the screenplay, but if we're not hooked, then we'll pass on the screenplay.
In writing any kind of script, but comedy especially, one of the most undervalued tricks in keeping a scene interesting is bringing the background to life. It’s kind of what Blake Snyder means by ‘putting the pope in the pool.’ But we say, take it further. Don’t just put the pope in the pool. Put the pope in the pool, surround him with eccentric pool floats and a precocious kid that keeps repeating the same swear word.
Snyder advocates putting the pope in the pool as a tool for disguising exposition. But even when you have snappy dialogue happening in the foreground, there’s no reason your scene can’t be enhanced by some ridiculous setting. If your characters are having a raunchy, hilarious conversation about anal suppositories, don’t make it happen in the privacy of their home. Make it happen in a crowded McDonald’s that’s overrun with a middle school gymnastics team. Or make it happen at a church get together. Don’t shy away from raising the stakes because it’s easier just to write two people talking.
Here’s an example:
INT. VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT – DAY
Dick and Jane wait in a long line in the crowded bistro. PETA stickers and happy animal faces adorn the walls. A HAPPY CHILD pets her dog in the corner.
DICK
How was I supposed to know, Jane?
JANE
I don’t know. Common sense? Normal human instinct.
The use of your eyes, maybe?
DICK
I used my eyes. It didn’t look real.
JANE
In what way did it not look real? Its fur? Its cute little nose?
A few RESTAURANT PATRONS chat nearby.
PATRON 1
Did you know it’s National Dog month?
PATRON 2
Yeah. I’ve adopted three puppies already today.
DICK
Look, I’m sorry, okay? Why did you bring me here anyway?
Torture? Guilt trip?
JANE
I’m a vegetarian, Dick. In case you forgot.
DICK
How could I forget? Huh? Maybe none of this would’ve
happened if you weren’t always breathing down my neck.
It makes me very tense. I get jumpy.
PATRON 1
God, I love dogs.
JANE
Please, Dick. Don’t blame this on me. I didn’t pull the trigger.
DICK
Your father is not usually a joking man. When he said target practice,
I thought he meant it literally.
JANE
Well, good work. Excellent judgment.
DICK
I didn’t mean to shoot your dog in the face, Jane! I’ve never
even used a gun before!
Aghast Patrons stare in horror as Dick panics and hurries out. The Happy Child bursts into tears. Jane calls after him.
JANE
We’ve had that dog for ten years, Dick. She survived two car accidents!
Snyder advocates putting the pope in the pool as a tool for disguising exposition. But even when you have snappy dialogue happening in the foreground, there’s no reason your scene can’t be enhanced by some ridiculous setting. If your characters are having a raunchy, hilarious conversation about anal suppositories, don’t make it happen in the privacy of their home. Make it happen in a crowded McDonald’s that’s overrun with a middle school gymnastics team. Or make it happen at a church get together. Don’t shy away from raising the stakes because it’s easier just to write two people talking.
Here’s an example:
INT. VEGETARIAN RESTAURANT – DAY
Dick and Jane wait in a long line in the crowded bistro. PETA stickers and happy animal faces adorn the walls. A HAPPY CHILD pets her dog in the corner.
DICK
How was I supposed to know, Jane?
JANE
I don’t know. Common sense? Normal human instinct.
The use of your eyes, maybe?
DICK
I used my eyes. It didn’t look real.
JANE
In what way did it not look real? Its fur? Its cute little nose?
A few RESTAURANT PATRONS chat nearby.
PATRON 1
Did you know it’s National Dog month?
PATRON 2
Yeah. I’ve adopted three puppies already today.
DICK
Look, I’m sorry, okay? Why did you bring me here anyway?
Torture? Guilt trip?
JANE
I’m a vegetarian, Dick. In case you forgot.
DICK
How could I forget? Huh? Maybe none of this would’ve
happened if you weren’t always breathing down my neck.
It makes me very tense. I get jumpy.
PATRON 1
God, I love dogs.
JANE
Please, Dick. Don’t blame this on me. I didn’t pull the trigger.
DICK
Your father is not usually a joking man. When he said target practice,
I thought he meant it literally.
JANE
Well, good work. Excellent judgment.
DICK
I didn’t mean to shoot your dog in the face, Jane! I’ve never
even used a gun before!
Aghast Patrons stare in horror as Dick panics and hurries out. The Happy Child bursts into tears. Jane calls after him.
JANE
We’ve had that dog for ten years, Dick. She survived two car accidents!